Wedding Horror Story: Horsing Around

December 7, 2016 by Tony Barthel

It is not uncommon for a bride to have Cinderella dreams of her wedding. After all, you get to wear the big dress, theoretically the guy in the rented tux is Prince Charming and all the guests certainly dote upon the bride. It’s probably the WeddingHorrorclosest any of the majority of the world ever get to feeling like a celebrity. So with those Cinderella dreams come some very interesting implementations.

A good friend of mine was the DJ for a wedding where the bride’s big dream was to arrive at the wedding ceremony in a horse-drawn carriage. Doing so would certainly evoke images in the minds of guests of the young lady with the glass slipper and this was one of the big dreams our bride had in her mind.

Of course she chose a venue where this could happen and had all the pieces in place for a beautiful summer ceremony and reception. It was to be perfect.

The horse and carriage arrived as expected but suddenly there was a challenge. According to the carriage’s providers, there was a unique tool required to secure everything together and that just happened to still be at their shop, about 45 minutes away. Their advice to our bride-to-be was to simply go ahead with the wedding. She would have no part in this, she wanted that horse and carriage.

So, after a bit of tense negotiation the carriage provider headed back to the shop to get this critical tool and the guests were told that there would be a slight delay, so the bar was opened. It might have been better to send out for pizza.

As time ticked away the guests enjoyed cocktails on an empty stomach. As his guests enjoyed the booze, so did the groom despite promising his lovely wife-to-be that he would avoid sinning at the hands of a bartender for this one day. More time passed, more alcohol disappeared and the guests became drunk.

After almost two hours the mystery tool arrived at the venue. The carriage and the horses got hitched and ready for their bride’s dream entrance on the way to doing so also. This was the moment of a lifetime, and would certainly be remembered by one and all.

Just as the bride had pictured, the beautiful white horses trotted down the path towing their cargo with dignity, grace and style. The rain that had come on the days preceding couldn’t have had any effect on the beauty of this day and as the carriage slowly pulled up to the head of the aisle. It almost seemed worth the wait to one and all.

The bride gracefully stood up, as did her guests. Her Prince Charming stepped forward to take her hand and that’s when she noticed that he had made nice nice with a few beverages of the intoxicating type. That’s when she said to him, “have you been drinking!?”

She never got her answer because her foot slipped on the step out of the carriage and forward she went, face first, right into a big puddle of mud.

The combination of alcohol and the two hour wait had built up in the audience and there wasn’t one person there who was able to stop laughing. But not just a little snicker, this was the kind of laughter that any comedian in the world would give their eye teeth for. Unless he had to glue them in, of course.

The moral here is plan ahead. Expect missteps. And watch out for the mud.

Tony Barthel Tony Barthel (67 Posts)

Anthony (Tony) Barthel has been a DJ since 1986 with a unique take on marketing that has resulted in over 1,000 events personally performed. In that time Tony’s weird sense of humor and unique perspective on the world got him started collecting these stories and sharing them with friends and other wedding professionals. Born in Baden, Switzerland Tony celebrates the unusual and outlandish as part of his lifestyle. He was married to Peggy Sue in 2005 in what his friends describe as the most unusual wedding ceremony and reception they’ve ever been to. The ceremony was in a 1928 movie theater complete with giant Wurlitzer Theater Pipe Organ and the reception lasted for two days including a gathering in an ocean side lagoon with 400 of their closest friends.

Filed Under: DJing Weddings