Wedding Horror Story: Urine The Celebration Now

November 9, 2016 by Tony Barthel

Many DJs do not charge much for their services. In fact, the number of DJs who WeddingHorrormake their full-time living from this profession is small so many of them have other jobs that help bridge the gap between DJ income and the poverty line. It’s also common practice to offer one’s services to larger operators who assign performances shortly before they occur. These companies book as many jobs as possible and then search for talent from the available pool as close to the performance date as possible so that they can negotiate better rates for themselves and, thereby, more profit.

A DJ I know in Sacramento was performing at a night club to help supplement his wedding DJ income and one evening in particular he noticed a group of lovely ladies come into the bar. These women were clearly in celebration mode as they all were having a great time and buying one another drinks. But it was also clear that one of their group wasn’t much in the party mood and spent portions of the evening just sitting at the bar while her friends made merry.

Our DJ friend decided to see if he could brighten the lone celebrant’s night and spent some time speaking with this patron while songs were spinning. Soon it became apparent that she was a bride-to-be and she and her friends were here the night before her wedding to celebrate the pending nuptials. While she knew she was doing the right thing sometimes nerves start to take over and people act funny.

In this case, the group of ladies closed down the bar and as our DJ friend was packing up a few things he found that he had made a friend in the bride and a combination of alcohol and nerves had made her friendlier than maybe she should be. In fact, her attitude had become apparent to her very drunk friends who tried to get her to leave but she rather stay and talk to her new friend, the DJ.

The memory of the night before was still echoing in our DJ’s mind as he picked up the the paperwork, a few significant songs and a contract from the big DJ company he had sold out to for another forgettable (to him) wedding. He showed up at the banquet hall ready to watch another couple’s dreams unfold.

It turns out that when he went outside to greet the bride and groom he already knew the bride. Intimately. But he hadn’t been introduced to the groom, who happened to be a minor league football player and looked the part. This was just the kind of guy who might be seen lifting up a car to change the tire instead of hassling with the jack. Now things were interesting.

All throughout the formalities all the DJ could think of was that there was no way the bride or her friends would let on what had happened the night before. In fact, he was sure that she didn’t even tell her bridesmaids about the after-hours intimacy. There were so many scenarios running through his head but in each case, he came out the victor and all that had happened was a quiet memory between two people who shouldn’t have shared the experience but did.

So when Mr. Muscles came over to talk to the DJ he was already a bit nervous. As he came around the DJ booth and put his arm around the entertainer the muscle-bound groom thanked his pee wee friend for the entertainment he had provided his new wife just the night before.

That’s when the DJ lost his composure and soiled his pants. This was it. Life was over.

Sure enough our gigantic groom was simply here to offer his thanks for doing such a great job spinning tunes for the girls the night before and wanted to thank the DJ for that and his excellent performance at the wedding to boot. This is where long medleys, lots of toilet paper and spare tuxedo pants became the best friend the DJ ever had. And you can be sure that he was a lot more careful with the type of entertainment he provided his guests from that point on.

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Tony Barthel Tony Barthel (49 Posts)

Anthony (Tony) Barthel has been a DJ since 1986 with a unique take on marketing that has resulted in over 1,000 events personally performed. In that time Tony’s weird sense of humor and unique perspective on the world got him started collecting these stories and sharing them with friends and other wedding professionals. Born in Baden, Switzerland Tony celebrates the unusual and outlandish as part of his lifestyle. He was married to Peggy Sue in 2005 in what his friends describe as the most unusual wedding ceremony and reception they’ve ever been to. The ceremony was in a 1928 movie theater complete with giant Wurlitzer Theater Pipe Organ and the reception lasted for two days including a gathering in an ocean side lagoon with 400 of their closest friends.


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