Wedding Horror Story: More Kids

August 24, 2016 by Tony Barthel

A big difference between adults and children is the fact that adults have been WeddingHorrorwhacked or yelled at enough to realize that they have to wait for what they want. Smaller children, on the other hand, may not have that life lesson completely learned just yet.

Take, for example, dessert. If you’re an adult one of the highlights of a wedding reception might be the beautiful wedding cake that looks and smells so good. It’s a tribute to bakers who perform such artistry for both the eyes and the palate and nothing is more tempting to some.

As adults, we realize we have to sit through all sorts of formalities and dinner so that we can be rewarded with this wonderful dessert. In fact, many guests stay at a reception just long enough to partake of this sweet treat and then head for home.

Kids, on the other hand, may not have the restraint necessary to sit through all that. I’ve seen more than my share of wedding cakes with tiny finger fulls of frosting missing very close to the bottom layer and a younger guest with the evidence of his sweet crime all over his rented vest.

But at one wedding in particular there was more than one youngster in attendance and smaller children form miniature gangs of roving destruction if left to their own devices. They also have a weird habit of ending up running in circles around the edge of the dance floor during dinner. Remember the vomit in the previous tale?

At this particular reception nobody really made mention of the fact that huge pieces of the bottom layer of the wedding cake had fallen victim to excavating hands. I’m still not sure how this crime of cream frosting had no witnesses, but nevertheless when it came time for the new Mr. and Mrs. to slice into their dessert a very noticeable part of it was missing.

They weren’t too disturbed by this since at least two of the children were their own, born out of wedlock.

Since there was no real witnesses nobody really knew which of the many children in attendance, had perpetrated the dessert theft until it was time to actually cut the ravaged cake. In some receptions it is common for a family member, often the father of the bride, to make a toast at the cake cutting.

In this case the father made a very elegant speech and toward the end his grand son came up and wanted to be held. Grampa was skilled at multitasking so he picked up the little guy and in conclusion of his speech, where he mentioned the missing dessert several times, he also said to the little guy “Grampa loves you, Joey.”

Joey’s response was a simple admission of guilt. “I love cake, grampa!”

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Tony Barthel Tony Barthel (49 Posts)

Anthony (Tony) Barthel has been a DJ since 1986 with a unique take on marketing that has resulted in over 1,000 events personally performed. In that time Tony’s weird sense of humor and unique perspective on the world got him started collecting these stories and sharing them with friends and other wedding professionals. Born in Baden, Switzerland Tony celebrates the unusual and outlandish as part of his lifestyle. He was married to Peggy Sue in 2005 in what his friends describe as the most unusual wedding ceremony and reception they’ve ever been to. The ceremony was in a 1928 movie theater complete with giant Wurlitzer Theater Pipe Organ and the reception lasted for two days including a gathering in an ocean side lagoon with 400 of their closest friends.


Filed Under: Weddings