Wedding Horror Story: Got Kids?

August 17, 2016 by Tony Barthel

Like most Southern Californians I have been married more than once but at my first wedding we explicitly asked the guests not to bring children. Kids are great as long as they’re someone else’s and I’ve been to too many weddings where the kids were a big problem so we decided to invite our guests to let their offspring stay home.

Of course one guest brought their child anyway and, like most children at most weddings, this little guy was bored out of his mind. His method for entertaining himself wasn’t unlike what children at so many wedding receptions I’ve been to do – he ran as fast as he could around the outside of the unoccupied dance floor during dinner.

A combination of a rich meal that he’s not used to and all that circular exercise was more than he could handle, and he came over to see if my new wife could assist him with his upset stomach which was becoming increasingly worse with each step he took. My wife immediately recognized that this volcano was going to blow and as she gathered her wedding dress her prediction became reality.

Fortunately, the lava from this volcano narrowly missed her gown. Still, I’ve seen other kids do the same thing although usually they just erupt on their parents, not the bride.

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Tony Barthel Tony Barthel (49 Posts)

Anthony (Tony) Barthel has been a DJ since 1986 with a unique take on marketing that has resulted in over 1,000 events personally performed. In that time Tony’s weird sense of humor and unique perspective on the world got him started collecting these stories and sharing them with friends and other wedding professionals. Born in Baden, Switzerland Tony celebrates the unusual and outlandish as part of his lifestyle. He was married to Peggy Sue in 2005 in what his friends describe as the most unusual wedding ceremony and reception they’ve ever been to. The ceremony was in a 1928 movie theater complete with giant Wurlitzer Theater Pipe Organ and the reception lasted for two days including a gathering in an ocean side lagoon with 400 of their closest friends.


Filed Under: Weddings