Wedding Horror Story: Does Champagne Give You A Headache?

January 25, 2017 by Tony Barthel

Brides and grooms view a wedding celebration so differently most of the time. While one can convey one’s feelings to the other, sometimes the groom and the bride are still miles apart in their vision and understanding of each other’s WeddingHorrorfeelings, thoughts and emotions.

For example, many brides have a vision of a wedding celebration as a fairy tale event with all the markings of such in the dress, setting and atmosphere.

Many grooms, on the other hand, view the celebration as a formality they have to wear uncomfortable clothing to before they get to spend their wedding night participating in the real celebration of what the day is about.

This skewed view might be extreme, but shades of this reality color many a wedding celebration.

Take, for example, a bride and groom who were in the process of being a part of a true princess reception. The hall was decorated with tulle that had been illuminated by miniature white lights on strings. At every turn there was an image befitting royalty from the table linens to the centerpieces, the bridesmaid’s dresses to the limousine parked outside awaiting this couple’s journey on the road of life together.

This was no hillbilly hoedown. No sir. It was a royal celebration and that’s what the bride had envisioned.

So far, the groom was right there with her having taken dance lessons so that the first dance was beautiful. Handing her a rose after elegantly speaking to all their guests and thanking them for attending. Yes, this young man had miraculously cleaned up well and looked and acted the part of Prince Charming. Wherever he had been hiding this behavior all his life, his wife was so happy that she had this dream man at least on this one day.

So as events unfolded in their celebration, she was convinced that he understood her. Finally, it was time for the cake and she gingerly placed a small taste in his mouth of the wonderful dessert they had carefully chosen, despite the fact that many of their idiot friends were yelling, “Smash it! Smash it!” Yes, nothing could ruin even this moment – not even those friends.

But apparently as much as she was able to ignore those guests, he wasn’t. The advice they proffered was far too tempting and he took that advice, ruining hours of makeup and hair styling time. The giant, frosting-laden piece of cake that became the bride’s new foundation also unleashed something inside her. The Princess suddenly disappeared as her anger swelled to the surface. She reached for the first thing she could find, which happened to be the bottle of champagne in the chilling bucket right behind her and as that bottle contacted her husband’s head, suddenly all of the princess factor disappeared.

That direct hit did its job and knocked the poor groom out cold. There was a picture for the photographer – a bride with cake all over her face holding the bottle that had just leveled her husband. Well the guests who were yelling a moment before had certainly shut up by this point, and now a few were rushing in to see if they could offer this poor young lad some assistance.

Soon the groom was admitted to the hospital where stitches and a two-day stay began the healing process. After being released from medical attention, he made his way to the court house where he undid what he had done just days before through the process of annulment. All while wearing a nice bandage on his head as a reminder that you can dress up in a Princess costume but all the tulle in the world won’t hide the attitude of a prize fighter.

I’m sure that, if he found another bride, he would be a little more interested in her wishes come cake cutting time as well.

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Tony Barthel Tony Barthel (61 Posts)

Anthony (Tony) Barthel has been a DJ since 1986 with a unique take on marketing that has resulted in over 1,000 events personally performed. In that time Tony’s weird sense of humor and unique perspective on the world got him started collecting these stories and sharing them with friends and other wedding professionals. Born in Baden, Switzerland Tony celebrates the unusual and outlandish as part of his lifestyle. He was married to Peggy Sue in 2005 in what his friends describe as the most unusual wedding ceremony and reception they’ve ever been to. The ceremony was in a 1928 movie theater complete with giant Wurlitzer Theater Pipe Organ and the reception lasted for two days including a gathering in an ocean side lagoon with 400 of their closest friends.


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