Trigger the Law of Reciprocity by Giving Away Something Valuable Free

June 27, 2017 by Terry Lewis

Imagine it’s Christmastime and you meet up with a friend and they unexpectedly present you with a beautiful gift, but because it came as a surprise you were caught short and had nothing to give back in return… how would that act of kindness make you feel?

  • Genuinely thankful?
  • A little awkward because you had nothing to give back in return?
  • A sincere wish that you had something to give back?

Probably all of the above, and this inner drive to want to give back that’s called reciprocity. And it can contribute to getting you booked. So give something away to your bride and groom that they were not expecting…But your free gift must move the needle and add value to their wedding planning process. Period. Because if your gift is token or does not propel them into a genuine state of gratitude you will be wasting your time and potentially cheapening your brand.

Your free gift must:

  1. Be of low monetary cost to you but of high perceived value to your prospects.
  2. Double up as a way to amplify your expertise.
  3. Increase your likability factor.
  4. And offer insights that enlighten and improve your couples wedding planning process.

One way to keep these 4 plates spinning is by creating a customised timeline for your clients wedding day and done correctly, you’ll raise interest to a peak state as they excitedly visualise pre-living their wedding.  So by the time they leave, they do so with a blueprint that makes them feel elated, enthusiastic and enlightened about how their wedding day could unfold.

When you unexpectedly animate a prospects wedding, you animate their emotions, which builds reciprocity, and reciprocity influences buying decisions.

This influencer works. What follows is an extract of a typical email I receive post meeting:

“Hi Terry,
Thank you so much for your time today, it was a pleasure to meet you and so useful to have someone actually explain to us the timeline of the day and the little bits that we wouldn’t have thought about!…”

They went on to purchase my top priced package.

The thing is, the longer you’ve been in the wedding industry the more likely it is you’ll suffer from ‘Expert Obviousness’ and think this is way too simplistic, and that everybody knows it because it has become ingrained within you through constant repetition. But the reality is this information is like manna falling from heaven to your prospects, because it’s likely that at the time of your meeting, they are still trying to figure it out and often nobody (other than a wedding planner) will have revealed their timeline to them at that point. It’s the unknown that contributes to a brides stress, so be a stress-buster and be the first to give a useful insights because it will position you as the likeable and trusted expert, attributes that will get you booked.

Here are your action steps for today:

  1. Download the Reciprocity fill-in-the-blanks worksheet here.
  2. Complete all the steps in the worksheet. 
    About Terry Lewis.
  • Author of the popular book ’12 Habits of Successfully Booked Up Wedding Suppliers’. Available on Amazon
  • A 6x Wedding Award Winner, including Best Wedding DJ in England
  • Judge for The Wedding Industry Awards
  • Mentor & Coach
  • Speaker

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Terry Lewis Terry Lewis (22 Posts)

Terry Lewis Biography 2009 I started my professional wedding DJ career. 2011 – 2014 I won 6 Best Wedding DJ Awards, including Best Wedding DJ in England. During this period I also became a preferred supplier at more than 50 venues from Mayfair in London to the suburbs. And had the honour of performing at international weddings. 2015 – Date I sit as a judge for the Wedding Industry Awards (the largest and most respected in the UK), and as a condition of accepting the role, I am no longer permitted to compete. 2015 I began my keynote speaking career at BPM Birmingham run by Mark Walsh & Eddie Short. Since then I have given motivational and educational talks at DJ associations such as NADJ and for leading Wedding Industry Networking groups. 2015 To facilitate my role as a mentor and coach, I launched a new company called Wedding Marketing Mastery, and created a world class 1-1 training program. It’s built from the ground up and designed to oversubscribe a wedding suppliers business at above average fees. 2016 I published my 1st book ’12 Habits of Successfully Booked Up Wedding Suppliers’ – Available on Amazon and read from London to Sydney. About my training I realised that to get above average results in the DJ and wedding industry, you need to help those you serve, get what they want to get. If you can do this in a remarkable way you will succeed in any endeavour. About me I am a father to four children and 2 step children. I am in love with my wonderful partner Julie whose support I could not do without. We love travel, entertainment and fine wines! I am also the co-founder of The GAAP Orphanage Foundation, our work helps orphans and abandoned children in Africa.


Filed Under: DJing Weddings, Mobile DJ Career Development, Mobile DJ Sales & Marketing, The Career DJ