Mastering Relationships Part 2

December 12, 2011 by David Hanscom

In Mastering Relationships Part 1 we went over a checklist of questions to ask yourself in an effort to help master your relationship with others.  Now that you have hopefully given yourself an assessment and know where your strengths and weaknesses are it is time to build upon this list.

Negotiation

For a moment think of a relationship as a “negotiation”.  Mastering a relationship requires you to keep the “and” in mind.  In other words, How do they get what they want AND you get what you want?  A key tip is to always think of them first.  As I refer to many times, one of my montras and Zig Ziglar quotes, “You can have everything you want in life if you help others get what they want.”  This is not just a montra or quote but a true philosophy of life that when understood, embraced and executed will bring your relationships to a new level of mastery that can only be lived to believed.

Is the battle worth fighting?

How many times do you find yourself in a battle or argument and before you know it you forget why you were even fighting or arguing in the first place?  So often we feel like we just have to be “right” regardless of any other feelings.  The real question should be do you want to be “right” or happy?  To be “happy” first means you have to not care who is “right”, you are willing to rise above your inclination to have the last word and in essence ask yourself, “Is this even going to matter in a day, a week or a year?”  Grasping this way of thinking helps you grow one step closer to Mastering Relationships because you start to look at yourself and others in a completely different perspective and are able to evaluate what is worth truly standing your ground on and what is better just to rise above, walk away from and live to “fight” another day.

Agreements

Relationships are not only negotiations and the occasional battles but also about agreements.  A person who has mastered relationships understands that agreements start with complete clarity from the beginning.  Nothing is left vague or misunderstood.  Agreements are often much more powerful when put in writing.  This is very necessary when entering into a business relationship with others.  Mastering a business relationship means that both parties know exactly what is going on and the goal is of the relationship (or partnership).  Occasionally we may jump into agreements that are not even clear to ourselves.  This can become a tremendous hinderance as we cannot expect to be clear with others if we are not even clear with ourselves.

Growth

Mastering Relationships also require you to surround yourself with people who will help you grow.  Understanding the difference between a relationship that encourages your growth and a “friendship” that hold you back from reaching your greatness.  Knowing the importance of walking away from these relationships, as difficult as it may be at times, shows yet another step toward Mastering Relationships.

The circle of growth

You need to grow, to grow is to learn, to learn is to teach, to teach is to grow!

Get out there and Master the Relationships you have in your personal and professional lives using the checklist, the suggestions and even your own ideas that develop from applying them.

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David Hanscom David Hanscom (16 Posts)

David Hanscom is the Director of Entertainment for Y? Entertainment and co-founder of Spirit Strong, a non-profit organization committed to inspiring and empowering challenged athletes and individuals with disabling injuries. He is acknowledged as an industry expert both locally and nationally. He began his career working for A.F.R.T.S. (Armed Forces Radio and Television Services) during High School, while living in Bermuda. David has also worked in a variety of entertainment fields including radio, television (music video show production), record company street teams and concert/event promotion & management firms.


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