Planning for the future at the end of the year

It is hard to believe how fast this year has flown by! If you are like me this is about the time of the year when you pull out that proverbial New Year’s Resolution, maybe even dust it off, and evaluate how well you did.  Having difficulty finding it may be the first indication how how well you did.  Year in and year out we promise ourselves that we are going to do better next year.  Starting off with a full head of steam and then only to be kicked in the face by that thing they call LIFE!  I’d would like to offer 8 suggestions that have helped me and will hopefully help you make your resolution for next next more of a reality than ever…

1. Write It Down
It is proven that when something is written down and re-read often it becomes cemented into your way of thinking and increases your chance of success.

2. Find A Replacement
If you find yourself writing down bad habits or activities you plan to break/stop,  replace them with good habits to counter the bad ones instead.  The gaol is to keep it positive and uplifting.

3. Tell Someone About It
In the fast paced society we all live in accountability is paramount.  Make the people you trust aware of your goals and aspirations and ask them to help hold you accountable.  In addition, allow them to assist you by providing resources and information you will need to accomplish your goals.

4. Take Small Steps (Daily)
Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed.  It is proven that several small accomplishments give your the strength and encouragement to take on larger goals.  They give you the confidence to face greater challenges and not give up.

5. Don’t Forget To Also Take BIG Steps
As addressed in #4, small steps will help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed, it is equally important to know when to take Big Steps.  You should not take all year to accomplish things that ca be done in a month, a week or even a day!  Get to work and GET IT DONE!

6. Make A Decision and Take Action! Know WHY
It is important to know your “WHY”…Why are you doing what you are doing, why are you willing to sacrifice? When your “WHY” becomes bigger than your “How” and “When” you will be laser focused on the task at hand.  Write down your reasons why and refer back to them in a time of indecision or if you become stagnant.  One of my favorite quotes to live by is, “If your WHY doesn’t make you cry, find and other WHY!”  this mindset will implore you to take action.

7. Team Up
Just as was mentioned in #3, it is very important to find a “success buddy” or an “accountability partner”.  This should be someone you can check in with every week and evaluate your progress.  It should be someone who is not a family member, most family members are unable to remove personal feeling and put you in your place or call you out on the carpet when you need to be.  Choose someone you trust and can handle getting the truth from, even when it doesn’t make you happy.  Remember, it is designed for your growth not to hold you back.

8. Celebrate Your Successes
It is very important to celebrate your successes.  This will keep you more focused on your goals and provide a much needed boost of confidence and acknowledgment of accomplishment.

Implement these tips into your New Year’s Resolution and I can just about guarantee this time next year you will be jumping for joy at the increase in positive outcome!  Make it a Great Year!

Habits and Programs Part 2

In Part 1 we discussed habits and how they become installed into you much like a computer program and how they are installed.  In this follow up we will look at how your habits can affect other areas of your life.

During your Awake Time of each day you will continuously experience Up Time and Down Time:

Up Time – This is when you are in the game!  Doing what you do best and showing the world and yourself what you are made of.

Down Time – This is when you should be planning for your Up Time.  What can you do to be able to operate almost automatically during your Up Time?  Preparing will get you ready to perform effortlessly.

What is the best use of your time, both Up and Down Times? What will move you closer to your goals and dreams? Do you habits help or hinder your progress? Finding the answers to these questions help you formulate the habits that make sense and eliminate those that do not.  You are able to choose your habits if you JUST DO IT! (I know, shameless Nike plug) If you have habits you don’t want, CHOOSE to change or loose them and replace them with more positive and productive ones.

During your Down Time it is important to clear our Life’s Clutter:

- In your head
- In your home
- In your office

Helpful Habit Tips

Multi-tasking is a great way to accomplish things.  For many of us in the Event Industry we constantly find ourselves having to multi-task.  Small (or any size for that matter) business owners are the kings and queens of multi-taking.  Keep in mind though that multi-tasking is a division of your thoughts.  Again, much like a computer, if you are running too many programs your “operating system” can get bogged down and at times even freeze up or even worse shut down!

To prevent becoming overwhelmed, focus on something, make it a habit and THEN add something else

It is OK to say “YES” as a habit.  Doing so opens up a world of potential and opportunity.  Remember, you can always say No later.

As it pertains to time, focus on changing at least one habit that prevents you from spending it in a productive manner.  Remember that you can never manage, sow down or regain time.

Get in the habit of changing habits!

The best way to change a habit is to tell everyone you know about the change and have them hold you accountable for doing so.

Habits and Programs Part 1

How many things in your life are habits?

Habits are like programs in your computer, they are installed and work without thinking.  They, in theory, do the same thing every time.  Statistically, 86 – 90$% of what you do in a day is habitual and not a conscious decision.  It only takes 21 – 28 consistant day sto make anything a habit or change one.

While preparing a ham for dinner one evening a woman cut off both ends of the ham before putting it into the oven.  Her curious daughter watching this awkward action said, “Mommy, the oven is huge, why do you always cut off the ends of the ham?”  Her mother replied, “Because that is what your grandmother, your great-grandmother and her mother did.”  When looking into this future the story goes on to explain that the great-great grandmother who started this “habit” did so actually out of necessity because at that time the ovens were much smaller and it was the only way the ham would fit.  Each generation following repeated the behavior out of “habit”, watching her mother do it.

Many people find themselves devaluing their time (see Planning and Prioritizing for more on this topic) by doing unimportant activities out of habit yet expect to improve at the same time.  How many programs or habits were installed in you by your parents, role models, etc.?

There are 4 distinct ways to consciously formulate habits:

1. Family & Friends
2. Emotional Events
3. Authority Figures
4. Repitition

Every habit you have are created and can be affected (changed) by one or more of the above four ways.

Think of the last time you changed something, maybe your sleeping pattern or your ability to multi-task better or be a better leader. Now think of how it may or can be affected by these four ways.

- Is there a family member or friend whom you can associate with the change?
- What strong emotion can you associate with the change? Did something happen or does the new action evoke a specific feeling?
- Is there an authority figure on the subject that “taught” you to change or that you feel can help you change something?
- Is there a pattern that has been interrupted that has caused the change?

Analyzing and understanding the answers to these questions can help you think more on your own instead of falling into the trap of a habit being installed into you.  Create a situation for yourself that promotes healthy habits and daily activities.

Planning and Prioritizing

During the last few weeks of the year many of us find ourselves looking ahead to next year and what we can do better to get us that much closer to our goals and dreams.  Here are some helpful tips to apply to your daily and weekly planning and prioritizing.

The first and most important factor is that you MUST value your time.  When you consider that over 80% of the time we do things that we don’t even consciously think about it is vital to properly manage the time that you do think about.  Evaluate if your day is in control of you or are you in control if it?  Also realize that responding to the day creates unhealthy and unproductive habits.  Your effectiveness is dramatically decreased when you don’t plan ahead and make sure your day and your time responds to you.  Take a few moment each day before you go to bed and visualize the following day.  See every moment of it and how you will be productive.  Once you have that image in your mind, head off to sleep and dream of your perfect day!  Wake up the next day with the perfect plan in mind.

Time to plan and prioritize…

Right off the bat you want to accept that to have what others will never have you have to do what others are not willing to do.  Start with the most difficult things first and work your way down.  This way everything becomes easier as you begin to eliminate everything “more difficult”.  Put your weekly tasks on paper and put them into an A, B, C order each day:

A – Time sensitive, things that need to be done TODAY! (this should only be 2 things max)
B – Everything else important for the week
C – Everything that didn’t get done last week

The following week, start all over again!

Know the difference between “activity” and “productivity”.  Sure, you can spend all day doing “something” but is what you are doing productive?  Is it bringing you that much closer to your deadlines, responsibilities and goals? If the answer is no then you must have the discipline to file it into the “activity” category and only resume it when you have done everything possible that day to be productive.  this is not to say that you should not take time out to enjoy life, but there must be a balance.  Also understand that “Time Management” is a myth, we cannot manage time.  As of this read, remane it Priority Management.  Managing your priorities will afford you all the time needed to accomplish your daily, monthly and yearly goals.  The only time is NOW!  Be sure to add to your “A” list every day and every week.  By the end of the month it will become a habit and something you will look forward to.

Focus on thinking and doing vs. perfection.  To become highly successful, perfection is impossible.  Also, remember that if you are being pulled in 100 different direction you have no direction.  Be where you are going in your mind now, your body and progress will always follow.

Finally, when YOU value you your time, others will value YOUR time!

 

Mastering Relationships Part 2

In Mastering Relationships Part 1 we went over a checklist of questions to ask yourself in an effort to help master your relationship with others.  Now that you have hopefully given yourself an assessment and know where your strengths and weaknesses are it is time to build upon this list.

Negotiation

For a moment think of a relationship as a “negotiation”.  Mastering a relationship requires you to keep the “and” in mind.  In other words, How do they get what they want AND you get what you want?  A key tip is to always think of them first.  As I refer to many times, one of my montras and Zig Ziglar quotes, “You can have everything you want in life if you help others get what they want.”  This is not just a montra or quote but a true philosophy of life that when understood, embraced and executed will bring your relationships to a new level of mastery that can only be lived to believed.

Is the battle worth fighting?

How many times do you find yourself in a battle or argument and before you know it you forget why you were even fighting or arguing in the first place?  So often we feel like we just have to be “right” regardless of any other feelings.  The real question should be do you want to be “right” or happy?  To be “happy” first means you have to not care who is “right”, you are willing to rise above your inclination to have the last word and in essence ask yourself, “Is this even going to matter in a day, a week or a year?”  Grasping this way of thinking helps you grow one step closer to Mastering Relationships because you start to look at yourself and others in a completely different perspective and are able to evaluate what is worth truly standing your ground on and what is better just to rise above, walk away from and live to “fight” another day.

Agreements

Relationships are not only negotiations and the occasional battles but also about agreements.  A person who has mastered relationships understands that agreements start with complete clarity from the beginning.  Nothing is left vague or misunderstood.  Agreements are often much more powerful when put in writing.  This is very necessary when entering into a business relationship with others.  Mastering a business relationship means that both parties know exactly what is going on and the goal is of the relationship (or partnership).  Occasionally we may jump into agreements that are not even clear to ourselves.  This can become a tremendous hinderance as we cannot expect to be clear with others if we are not even clear with ourselves.

Growth

Mastering Relationships also require you to surround yourself with people who will help you grow.  Understanding the difference between a relationship that encourages your growth and a “friendship” that hold you back from reaching your greatness.  Knowing the importance of walking away from these relationships, as difficult as it may be at times, shows yet another step toward Mastering Relationships.

The circle of growth

You need to grow, to grow is to learn, to learn is to teach, to teach is to grow!

Get out there and Master the Relationships you have in your personal and professional lives using the checklist, the suggestions and even your own ideas that develop from applying them.

Mastering Relationships Part 1

In one of my past articles 10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40 I briefly touched on the importance of Creating Solid Relationships.  I would not like to take that a step further and focus on Mastering Relationships.  This will be Key Tips in bullet point fashion to help you start to Master Relationships.  Take a moment and reflect on the meaning of each point and how it applies to you.  Measure your success with relationships and allow the Key Tips to help you grow where necessary.

• How can I give more value to the relationships in my life?
• The quality of life is based on the balance of relationships.
• All relationships start with “me”. I must love “me” before other can.
• How do I value my relationships with others?
• I decide how people treat me.  Do they walk all over me or treat me with respect?
• I must love myself for who I am and visualize myself in my perfect state.
• Treat yourself in a perfect way and others will too.
• Take yourself seriously  and others will too.
• Keep in mind that often what you don’t like in someone else may also be what you don’t like in yourself.
• Vibrate on a higher plane.  To notice someone’s negatives, you have to be vibrating negatively yourself.
• Strive to find something good in everyone.
• Hold onto your beliefs as to inspire and empower others to do the same.
• Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have been given in life.
• Show others how to be in a good relationship with you by being the example you would like them to be.
• You can attract the people you need to help you achieve your dreams by being the person you want to be.
• Connect with others on a personal level and then bring them up with your excitement.  also, allow them the bring you up with their’s when necessary.
• See yourself more exciting, you will become more exciting and attract others
• Be sure that what you communicate is being carried out by your actions.
• Communicate to the RIGHT people.

10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40

As I approach my 40th Birthday I started thinking about the things that were important to me.  While it was difficult to do, I was able to pick out a Top 10 Things to Know and Do before 40.  These are all simple and practical steps and truthfully can be applicable to any age.  Here we go:

1. Know Yourself – When I say “Know Yourself” I am referring to your strengths and weaknesses.  We all have them and just like fingerprints that vary for each one of us.  Knowing your strengths will help yo to know where to focus your efforts and opportunities to excel.  It will help you achieve your goals and attain personal satisfaction.  On the other hand, knowing your weaknesses can be equally if not more beneficial.  When you know your weakness and even more important, willing to admit your weaknesses, you have a foundation for growth.  You can create a list of areas to spend as much time getting better at as you do on the things that come natural.  You can also evaluate if the weakness is something you should avoid and allow others to accomplish.

2. Settle Your Family Life – This is mostly for the married couples but truthfully can exist with parents, children or any other relatives.  Recognize issues that may exist, things that are lingering and unaddressed.  It is important to get them out in the open and “handled”.  One thing we are not promised in life is time and once someone is gone the opportunity to set things right goes as well, yet the guilt of not doing so can last forever.  Relationships, especially marriages, require constant work and nurturing.

3. Determine Your Priorities – It is said that every seven years we change as people and everything from out tastes, likes & dislikes, ambitions and priorities.  It is vital to keep track of your priorities, write them down and occasionally review them for any changes, additions or subtractions.  This will help you keep focused on what is important and worth giving your time to.

4. Develop Your Philosophy – How do you define your life?  What is your vision for your future? It is critical to know what you believe in, what/who you are willing to die for and what things in your life are optional.  Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything”.

5. Get Physically Fit – As we get older and absorbed in our careers, goals, lives, etc. one of the areas we often overlook is our health.  This has become a VITAL area for me over the past few years and a journey that in a short time has taught me more about myself than anything before it.  Remember, don’t give up your “health” in an effort to gain “wealth”.  A strong body leads to a strong mind which leads to a strong future.

6. Learn Your Trade – Always be a student of your trade.  The day you think you cannot learn anything else  about your trade is the day you need to get out of it.  To be most successful at your trade; learn, earn and return.  the biggest key is to remember to give back more than you receive.

7. Pay The Price – Success cannot be accomplished without sacrifice.  You have heard it all, “Nothing in life is easy” “Anything worth having is worth working for” These and similar statements are profound and should not be taken lightly.  Your “ah hah” moment with this one is when you realize and are willing to accept that you may sacrifice and not see success but trust that those who follow will reap the success of your sacrifice.  Some would call it a characteristic of leadership.

8. Develop Solid Relationships – In the day and age of social media the word “friend” has a whole new meaning.  Solid relationships are important because life’s greatest experiences involve people.  I have had some of the best times of my life and created unforgettable memories with the guys I have developed solid relationships with, a brotherhood if you will.  Take a moment and review your social media “friends”.  How many do you have a solid relationship with?

9. Prepare For The Future – By nature we always want the biggest and best.  This is very prevalent in the Event Industry.  Often we are judged by the equipment we carry, the amount of lights we have, how many songs in our library, etc.  While these things are vital to our craft, in the grand scheme of life how important are they?  Consider living life in such a way that you have options later on when you have played that last song.  Consider purchasing the “second best” and saving the difference for retirement.

10. Find Purpose In You Life – True success comes from knowing and executing your purpose in life.  Never stop growing to your maximum potential and continue sewing seeds, even if only others down the line benefit from them.

As 2011 is coming to an end, no matter if you are 40, 20 or 60 do a self evaluation of these 10 things and see where you stand with them.  You may find that you need to work on some and also be right where you need to be with others.  You’re either Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting!!!

The “Science” and “Art” of Communication Part 3

Now that you have some “Do’s” and “Don’ts” let’s work on making sure when you are trying to communicate a message that you are not misunderstood.

The #1 Key is FEEDBACK! Think of feedback as evidence that your audience has heard and understood you. Keep in mind though, someone can hear and repeat your message but still not understand it. Sometimes it may become necessary to explain to your audience as if they were second graders. Reduce it to the irreducible minimums.

There are three modes of communication that are all about focus and important to be aware of as well.

1. Self Centered
Being pre-occupied with yourself… Did the audience like me? How did I sound? Did I look nervous? How was I coming across? This is being self-centered in your communication focus. The problem with this is that you are ignoring both the message and the audience. The focus then is on you.

2. Message Centered
Other times we are confident about ourselves and instead find ourselves over focusing on the message… How is the message being received? Am I getting it just right? Am I using the most appropriate words? Even though it may be better to focus a little more on the message than yourself, you still miss the goal doing this.

3. Listener Centered
The goal is to be focused on the audience, secure in your own abilities and confident in your message so that you can engage your audience and be focused on them.
Think of it this way…A good conversation is never like a speech, but a good speech is always like a good conversation.
Do you find yourself being able to connect with people who speak “to you”? More often than not the best speakers are not self centered or message centered but instead more focused on connecting with their audience. It typically has more of a “conversational” feel, we can relate and we feel like they are talking with us, not to us.

Think about the people you like to spend most of your time with? Why do you think that is? Sure you might like them because they are an old friend or a lot of fun to hang out with but if you were to dig deep enough would you agree it is because you like to hear what they have to say? They encourage, inspire, challenge amuse and entertain you.
Now think about those who you dread meeting with or spending time with because you know it is going to be like watching paint dry or chewing glass, just down right painful. It may not be that you have anything personal against them, you just don’t want anymore of what they “have to sell”.

Be that person that others can’t wait to hear more from. Tell a better story, paint a better picture and pay better attention. Remember when you communicate, people want to be entertained and engaged. Learn from others, study the things they are doing right and wrong. Do not do this to be critical of them but to be constructive for yourself so that you will never stop learning what works and what doesn’t work.

The “Science” and “Art” of Communication Part 2

Common mistakes people make in Communicating

1. Not being specific enough

It is important to understand that often the biggest mistake you may be making is that you are not clear on what you are trying to achieve. Be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish. Ask yourself this question, “What is it I want my audience to think, feel and /or do?”

Keep in mind thinking is intellectual which changes the way they “perceive” things. Feeling is “emotional” and doing is about “taking action”. The best communication should touch on all three: Change how people think, create positive emotion, which in turn leads to positive action. If you find yourself failing in communicating it may not be from a lack of skill set, it may be as simple as you are just being unspecific. You leave it up to your audience to figure out what they want or need when in fact it is up to you, the communicator, to illicit the right response. If your audience does not “get it” you need to take responsibility and not place blame.

2. Not investing the effort and doing the hard work

We now live in the age of simple, easy and instantaneous. Convenience is nice but too often we forget that those who are really good at what they do are those who invest the effort to learn and develop necessary skills.

3. Not having something significant or important to say

Hubert Humphries said, “The right to be heard does not always automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” It is easy to write a blog or post something out on the internet but if what your putting out there has no significance or importance it will easily get lost in the noise, clutter and confusion. Your message needs to cut through those things and will affect people and make them care. If people don’t care, they don’t listen regardless of the clarity of the message.

Things that you can do RIGHT in Communicating

Think of the “C’s” of communicating. Commit these to memory and help yourself be a much more effective communicator.

1. CLEAR – Be pinpoint accurate on what you are trying to accomplish.

2. CONFIDENT – Believe that your message is important; that you are a good messenger and that your audience is important enough to invest time into communicating with them.

3. CONSISTENCE – Consistency is critical because of the amount of uncertainty typically communicated. Therefore sometimes the best tool you have for retention is to repeat your message so many times that the listener could repeat it in their sleep. Samuel Johnson said, “People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.”

4. CATCHY – Remember to avoid or penetrate the noise, clutter and confusion. This is the difference between saying, for example, “It’s a really good car” or saying “It’s the ultimate driving machine”, a great example of this “C” from BMW. Even if you don’t own one you know it is “The Ultimate Driving Machine”.

5. COMPELLING – Arguably the most important one of all. Remember, you must create positive “emotion” to lead to positive “action”

The “Science” and “Art” of Communication Part 1

The “Science” and “Art” of Communication

Think of a bottle of wine. Sometimes you can have good wine in a bad bottle. You look at the bottle and it is not that impressive but it tastes wonderful. Sometimes you have a bottle that looks terrific but the wine inside is not so good. The goal in effective communication should be to have both substance and style.

Science is built on practices, rules and procedures while art is more of an inherent creative process. The best communicators will learn to combine the two. They will take the best of each and create an effective outcome. Science without art can make communication seem sterile while art without science can make communication very chaotic. Your goal should be to combine creativity with discipline to create the most favorable outcome.

Let’s look at some examples…

The perfect “right down the middle” would be the late Steve Jobs. People would hang on his every word. That was because he would always couple the good science of technology and products and talk about them in an informative, factual way with his own passion and enthusiasm about the design and end user effectiveness.

A good example of the Science right but the art wrong would be the prototypical college professor that goes on and on, for example the character that Ben Stein played in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. A great example of someone who disseminates the information and then strives for involvement, “Anyone, anyone, anyone?” This individual has the information down but has diminished the impact because of poor delivery and lack of creativity.

A good example of getting the Art right but the science wrong, are those who tend to be very passionate. You find yourself connecting with their enthusiasm but in the find yourself asking, “What was that all about?” You knew they felt strongly about something, you are just not sure what about.

So what is “Winning Communication”?

George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion it has been accomplished.” The potential for bad communication is of great. Especially in the fast paced word of the Internet, mobile devices and busy lives we lead. I remember some years ago my son, as we walked into a restaurant, read a sign on a chalkboard the read “Fish – All You Can Eat”. He looked at me and said, “Oh No! All you can eat is fish???” This is a perfect example of how, even just subtlety, misinterpreting communication one can come to the wrong conclusion.

Therefore, “Winning Communication” can be defined as being heard and understood. For “Winning Communication” to take place your message needs to not only be heard (or read) but the intended effect of that communication also needs to be achieved.

Keep in mind communication is in fact “response you get”. How effective you are communicating is more about what is “heard” than what is “said”. Often times we find ourselves saying, “But this is what I said” but if the person who responded didn’t “get it” then the responsibility of poor communication falls onto the person who said it.

Stay tuned for Part Two when I will share some of the wrong ways to avoid when communicating and the “C”s of communication.