Why there is no recession at the Apple Store and why ATT is clueless

In the depths of the economic doom and gloom we have been hearing about on a regular basis, some businesses are not participating.

One of those businesses appears to be Apple; makers of computers and personal electronics.

On Black Friday, I had an appointment at the Genius Bar of the Apple Store at Town Square, Las Vegas. I had been having an odd problem with my iPhone. When I picked up the phone on an incoming call, I could hear the caller, but they could not hear me. To make it worse, the problem was intermittent.

A couple of days prior to the appointment, I had an extended discussion with iPhone technical support. We tried a number of things, but were not sure if it was an iPhone problem or an AT & T issue. So, on my follow up call, it was decided that I would go to the store, and probably exchange for a new phone.

When I arrived at the store, about 4:30pm, it was slammed. Your basic buzzing beehive. I was greeted at the door, and signed in for my 4:40pm appointment. The flat screens, mounted on the wall, behind the Genius Bar, alternately showed the appointment cue for IPod/IPhone and Macs. As well, there were quick technical tips being shown, in rotation with the cues.

I was called up by Christie within a couple of minutes of my scheduled time. We walked through the issues to that point, and agreed that they would exchange the phone. Only problem, they didn’t have my model in stock. She called the Apple Store at Fashion Show Mall, and set up an appointment (pick up time) for Saturday morning. I went there, the next morning, and the exchange was handled promptly, efficiently, and with a smile.

Guess what? The iPhone was not the problem. Still had the same symptoms. I contacted AT&T tech support via online chat. They tried to slough me off on Apple. I wouldn’t allow it. I spent an hour, online with them. To no avail…. Back to Apple phone support.

I ran it down again. The customer service representative elevated my call to an Apple Product Manager who conferred with a counterpart at AT&T. It was decided that if I could stop by an AT&T store, they would exchange the SIM card. That was the likely culprit.

I agreed, and dashed over to the AT&T store and was served by Mitch. He listened to my recap, smiled and said, “Oh, I’ll take care of swapping out the SIM card, but that’s not the problem.”

“How do you know that’s not the problem? How can you be so sure?” I asked.

“I’ve experienced the same thing,” he responded. Mitch went on to explain that this was a local, 3G network problem. AT&T was upgrading the 3G network (which is its high-speed service), and there were ‘intermittent problem.’ All I needed to do was open up my phone ‘settings’ and turn off 3G, reverting to standard speed. He figured in a week or so that the upgrades would be done, and the problem would disappear.

Mitch told me I wouldn’t notice any significant difference in phone service. We made the adjustments and, magically, the symptom went away.

Focusing on the result, ultimately, the problem was resolved. I did burn up about five hours of needed time, in the process.

Here is what I learned along the way.

• Both Apple Stores were staffed to the max, with trained, competent, people.
• Apple’s challenge is that they are in partnership with AT&T; however, they were willing to do ‘whatever it took’ to solve my problem, even if it meant exchanging the phone.
• AT&T online service was too willing to blame the issue on the iPhone and not knowledgeable or aware enough to consider their network as a potential problem.
• The quick diagnosis and solution at the local AT&T store, by Mitch, demonstrated the the right hand didn’t know what the left hand was doing. It struck me that if the local stores know of an issue, and its solution, then there should be a mechanism to inform tech support. Clearly my problem was not unique.

What should this mean to you, as a business marketer?

1. “You are as strong as your weakest link” applies here. The fact that Mitch could solve the problem did not make up for the time wasted with lack of intelligent AT&T support, online. On the other hand, everyone I dealt with at Apple was ‘on the ball’ in every way I asked of them. They didn’t even balk at exchanging the phone, even though it wasn’t absolutely clear, at the point, that the iPhone was the source of the problem.
2. The crew at Apple reminded me of Southwest Airlines. Some people enjoy their jobs. Others don’t. It’s easy to tell the difference. They have a passion and knowledge of what they do, and it shows. Despite the fact the stores were slammed, they were ready, willing and able to meet the challenge.
3. Sometimes, as a customer, one has to be relentless. Not having proper use of the phone was about to become a huge problem (read my upcoming post of December 1st), so I wasn’t about take no for an answer, or back off until the problem was solve. The customer service approach was decidedly different in the two arenas.

The big message: People in your company (even if it’s a 1-person) must be clear on your outlook about serving the customer/client and providing the appropriate result. I’ve been an Apple customer since 1984. AT&T is my cell phone provider, simply because they have an exclusive relationship with Apple. If that relationship changes, my experiences with them, between now and then, will determine if it continues.

Ask yourself how your company goes about address and resolving problems. Even better, how do you prevent problems from occurring in the first place.

Your examples and comments are not just welcome, but encouraged.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Blog

Internets Original Online DJ Directory Redesigned and Relaunched

Scottsdale, AZ, November 27, 2008 – Online planning directory publisher, Planning Directories LLC, announced today the re-launch of Planning.ProDJ.com, an online disc jockey directory. Planning.ProDJ.com was the Internet’s first online DJ directory, originally launched on October 28, 1995. Over the past 13 years, brides, party planners, and wedding & party vendors alike have come to trust Planning.ProDJ.com as one of the most reliable sources of vendor information for planning a wedding or party.

The latest version of the directory has been completely redesigned from the ground up with the bride and party planner in mind. Unlike most typical online directories which force users to narrow their search criteria through multiple tedious steps, Planning.ProDJ.com streamlined and simplified the process by letting users view a list of qualified vendors right from the home page with a single click, for most markets.

DJ services can list their company on the directory at no cost. Enhanced listing packages are available for a nominal fee that provide added benefits, such as the ability to appear above all free listings, add a link to the company’s website, add descriptive text to the listing, appear in multiple regions, and receive leads & inquiries instantly on their cell phone through integration with DJ Intelligence, the leading provider of web-based interactive tools for DJs.

Planning.ProDJ.com was originally founded by ProDJ.com Internet Services, who operated the directory until it was sold in late 2007. Over the years it has undergone many changes and improvements. Today, Planning.ProDJ.com is owned and operated by Planning Directories LLC, a leading publisher of online planning directories in the wedding and special events markets whose principals have nearly four decades of combined experience in the wedding and publishing industries. Planning Directories LLC principals believe you will not find a more complete, accurate guide anywhere on the web.

For more information, please contact Planning Directories LLC at http://planning.prodj.com/email.asp or visit http://planning.prodj.com . DJs are invited to list their DJ service in the directory at no cost by visiting http://planning.prodj.com/add . Those DJs that are already listed are invited to verify and update their company’s information by visiting http://planning.prodj.com/members .

Planning Directories LLC
PMB 258
10105 E. Via Linda Ste 103
Scottsdale, AZ 85258

Pioneer Perspective – Karl Detken and Davey Dave

An mp3 of the Interview is available lower in this text and via ITunes.  Full text is below and selected portions are published in Mobile Beat Magazine – to subscribe go to https://members.mobilebeat.com.

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QSC: A Chronicle of Quality – Quilter and MacKenzie

An mp3 of the Interview is available lower in this text and via ITunes.  Full text is below and selected portions are published in Mobile Beat Magazine – to subscribe go to https://members.mobilebeat.com.

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Mobile Beat Seminars Part #2 Arrives!

The 2009 Mobile Beat DJ Show’s lineup of presentations is falling into place!

PLUS, in the next few days be looking for the SIX ADDITIONAL bonus seminars we are providing beginning at Noon Monday February 16. These bonus seminars are your gift for making the effort to arrive early!

But here are some more of the highlights you can look forward to as part of the three day core schedule running from February 17th through the 19th:

REMIX & EDITING 201 Russ Harris
Join Billboard Charting Dance recording artist Russ Harris for his follow-up to his hit seminar “Remix & Editing 101″ from 2008′s Vegas Show. If you already know how to make mashups & basic mix tracks & you want to learn more, this year’s seminar will focus more on midi-sequencing with software synthesizers, drum programming & looping, vocals & effects that you can lay over any one of your project’s elements. If you want to learn how Compression can make that kick drum sound louder or how a delay can kick that synth into a 3D sounding siren, this is the seminar for you. By the end of the hour, you’ll want to jump on your computer & get to work on your next masterpiece!

STRICTLY BUSINESS Jeffrey Craig
An in-depth look at proven methods that can be used to build and maintain your business. Jeffrey offers tips on building your business from within, up selling your clients, branding, believing in your company, your employees and your product,and much, much more.

Mobile DJing Around The World
The UK’s DJ Tutor Johnathan Lewis, a.k.a Ellaskins, who is making the trip across “the pond” especially for this Mobile Beat event, along with Brian S. Redd, the USA’s DJ Tutor, will be hosting Practice & N-Joy on Wednesday afternoon from 5:00 to 7:00 PM. This year’s Practice & N-Joy topic is “Mobile DJing Around the World”. Johnathan, Brian and several other members of the DJ Tutor community will be giving presentations focusing on what it’s like to be a Mobile DJ in their various parts of the world.

Ultimate Marketing Makeover Tom Quiner
Professional marketing produces professional results. Are you happy with your marketing program? Is it working for you? Or do you want more response and more profits from your marketing? Imagine the impact you’ll have on your local market area if your marketing campaign was professional. Imagine the impact on your bottom line if brides and corporate prospects called and were already presold on you! In this fast-paced presentation, Tom Quiner, President of Breakthrough Marketing, will show you practical & ingenious ways to boost response and profits for your DJ business. You’ll see before your very eyes new ways to market professionally to attract more response.

A Wedding Ceremony..It’s not just walking down the aisle Jay Sims
Learn how to increase revenue form every wedding you do is selling ceremony services to your wedding clients. Your clients should believe you are not just playing music for their ceremony but rather acting as their overall ‘ceremony coordinator and director’ to ensure all the details are in place. Jay will present a full breakdown of planning a ceremony, knowing religious customs, developing a detailed timeline, attendance of a rehearsal, day of checklist, direction at the ceremony, interaction with the officiate & other vendors, ceremonies off-site, and how you can turn your company into a full and comprehensive ceremony service producing more profit for your business.

Tips and tricks from the improv comedy world to help the mobile DJ: An interactive workshop Mike Ficher
Improvisational comedy can be the ultimate interactive fulfillment. How can that help the mobile entertainer? While you may not desire or even be remotely interested in taking the stage without a script as an improv player, learning and appreciating the art of improvisational comedy will enhance your performances, promote excellence in spontaneous reactions at an event and encourage your development as a broad-based, appealing entertainer. Learn the basics of the art, play a few games and gain knowledge that will help you-and your clients.

Please note: All seminars, events, workshops are on a first-come, first-serve basis and are subject to change without notice.

http://www.mobilebeat.com/las-vegas-dj-show/

MB 118 – The Gear Guide

The annual Mobile Beat Gear Guide is all about DJ gear; it’s packed with essential info to help entertainers make informed buying decisions. Added to the mix this year is a sharp focus on important product categories, featuring guides to shopping for these particular items and making the most of your equipment investments. The categories include: Powered Speakers, Mixers, LED Lighting, DMX Lighting Control, Digital Media Controllers, and DJ Software.Along with this hard-copy guide, don’t forget that you can utilize Mobile Beat’s online Gear Guide all year long to find summaries of the latest info on new products, links to manufacturer websites for further information, and links to web-based retailers to help you compare prices and make online purchases. Access the Gear Guide online at http://mall.prodj.com.

The Computerized DJ: How to Pick Your Software by Dr. Drax – Well, here we are eight years into the new millennium. What can…Choosing a Mixer by Ben Stowe, CTS – When choosing a mixer for your system there are two critical… The Call of the Wild by Merlin Zimmet – As DJs, throughout most of our careers we seldom stray from the… 

MBLV09 Seminars Part #1 Released

The 2009 Mobile Beat DJ Show’s lineup of presentations is falling into place!

PLUS, in the next few days be looking for the SIX ADDITIONAL bonus seminars we are providing beginning at Noon Monday February 16. These bonus seminars are your gift for making the effort to arrive early!But here are some of the highlights you can look forward to as part of the three day core schedule running from February 17th through the 19th:

Mobile Beat is excited to announce two special combination presentations from two reknowned industry experts. Marketing guru shares his methods in a great series which includes;

Marketing and Selling to the 21st Century Bride Andy Ebon

25 years ago, the choices for marketing to the bride were limited: Print ads bridal shows and referrals. Now, wedding couples have instant access to info at any time from anywhere. Unfortuantely the ever increasing volume of communication is overwhelming their ability to filter and process information to make buying decisions. Hence, the evolution of Bridezilla, a woman who is overwhelmed by information excess. This presentation will discuss the symptoms and solutions, adjustments and enhancements that are critical to understanding how to effectively communicate in this digital age.

Introduction to New Social Media is A sampler about the various web-based and new technology communication vehicles, and how one can best use them to communicate with clients, prospects and peers. Including such things as LinkedIn, FaceBook, MySpace, Text Messaging, and Blogging.

And finally, Blogging Your Way To Business Success Andy will tell you why blogging should be more than an idea to consider, it should be mandatory to your business. Blogging adds an extra dimension to the understanding of your business by prospects and customers, alike. Most important, blogging is the single best thing you can do for search engine optimization to attract website traffic. Learn to read and understand your website statistics and what can be done to optimize their sites for search engine ranking.

You may have seen one of three of Jim Cerone’s “The Perfect Host.” But for the first time ever, Mobile Beat offers an opportunity to see all three parts during this years show!

Part 1 Who “hosts” your parties? You should! Known throughout the DJ industry as The Perfect Host, Jim Cerone will give you the Top 10 qualities you need to host your events. The Perfect Host Part 1 is the foundation of Jim’s series of seminars. You’ll learn how to do Show Prep, how to use the Preamble and how to head off T.R.O.U.B.L.E. Stop doing “gigs” and start “hosting” parties ! Then check out Part 2: Making Perfect Sense

Do you have good basic DJ skills, but can’t seem to get the audience’s attention? Part 2 of Jim Cerone’s Perfect Host series of seminars builds on the foundation of Part 1. Using more advanced techniques, Jim shows you how to identify, develop and use 10 new ways to Make Perfect Sense to your audience. Connect with your clients and their guests and you’ll get more word of mouth referrals. And finally, The Perfect Host,

Part 3 – What Do You Say?In the Perfect Host Part 1, Jim Cerone helped you build the foundation. In Part 2, he gave you advanced techniques to sharpen your senses and connect with your audience. Now, get ready for The Perfect Host Part 3, where Jim reveals why content is king. As the host, What You Say sets the tone for the entire event. Learn how to Edit In Your Head and Ban the Generic Banter. Leap to a whole new level with The Perfect Host series from Jim Cerone!

Generations: The world we sell in Jorge Lopez
A person’s decision on what to buy, from whom, when and for how much are based on their personal influences. It doesn’t matter if it’s your clients, employees, children or friends, in this presentation you will learn what motivates a Baby Boomer, Gen Xer or “Millennials. Discover how each generation is unique, what turns them ON and what turns them OFF, and how to define your target client generations and what you can do to market and sell more effectively to each of them by creating trusting and successful relationships.

Keeping All of your Great DJs Michael Walter
Fresh off his earlier presentations: “Finding Your Next Great DJ” and “Training Your Next Great DJ” , in this seminar Mike will offer in-depth and proven methods that he and other successful Multi-Op owners have used to maintain their staff and keep their DJs happy. It is possible to combine Quality and Quantity and this seminar will show you how.

The High School Goldmine Mark Perry
Done right, learn how to exceed the profit generated from other types of events, including weddings in the lucrative high school market. Consider extending your services to cross over into the event production world such as, large scale video projection, special effects, intelligent & laser light shows, décor lighting, etc. and getting compensated properly for these services.Change public perception, package pricing as opposed to custom pricing, selling specific products rather than their effect. Attendees will leave the seminar captivated, motivated, and inspired to achieve new heights in their own organizations.

Please note: All seminars, events, workshops are on a first-come, first-serve basis and are subject to change without notice.

http://www.mobilebeat.com/las-vegas-dj-show/

The Computerized DJ: How to Pick Your Software by Dr. Drax

Well, here we are eight years into the new millennium. What can we say about how we’ve progressed? In just 10 short years, we have gone from storing a few hundred MP3s to storing tens of thousands on a single hard drive. One might ask, “What will the next 10 years bring?” We are already seeing a high rate of change, in fact, a more significant change in the last two years than we experienced in the previous eight. The continuing expansion of technological and software systems will literally revolutionize how we do what we do.Priority One: Performance Style

When considering digital DJ software several key elements need to be outlined as we discuss our choices. Are you a hands-on, club-style mixer focused on the tactile feedback of platters? Or are you satisfied with semi-automatic functionality that allows you to spend more time out on the floor working the crowd, making announcements, leading interactive elements, etc.? In other words, one of your prime considerations is the way you perform. With the answer to this basic question, you can start to lay out the choices that are available to you.

I have always said that rather than the debate which platform to run (Mac or PC) or what might be the best hardware configuration, you should instead choose the software you want to use and then select the hardware that most appropriately runs that software. For those who desire a traditional interface, comparable to two turntables or two discrete CD players, there are numerous product offerings-too many to name without fear of leaving someone out. The same holds true for those looking for a functional automated interface in which they can program the entire night’s play list, add requests when needed, and spend the bulk their time interacting with guests.

Once you have somewhat defined your DJ style, selecting a tool that best fit your needs becomes a matter of trial and error. I would strongly suggest downloading the demos of the respective programs you’re interested in, and loading them up on a platform comparable to the software’s recommended setup. Another method is finding users who are currently working with the tools you are looking at, and asking if you can shadow them, as well as getting their opinions. Their satisfaction level is important, as they are real-world users of the product, not salespeople.

Some questions you might ask:
• How difficult was it to become proficient with the software?
• How long does it take to understand the basic nuances of the interface?
• Does the software allow for introduction of various file types, or is it constrained to a single file type?
• Does it allow you to go from a dual-deck, beat-mixing format to a single-player format?

Expanding Your Search

As the hardware makes storage of more and more tracks possible, an increasingly important question is, how easy is it to search using the prospective software? For example, can you do concatenated searching, using a combination of terms? An example of this would be searching for every disco song from the year 1979 that was number one on the Billboard Top 40, with the BPM of 100. While you may never have to get quite so focused, having the ability to do so is a powerful tool to build the quality of your performance sets.

Another thing you need to consider is how is the program’s database (often described as a “record case” or other type of physical storage) is structured. Is it established in such a way that makes logical and intuitive sense to you? Or does it require you to learn a whole new way of living or a whole new language? Look for tools with strong relational database capability. This is easily reflected in the structure of the record case or library, how information is presented to you, and how easily you can search through that information.

An organizational area that I feel is key in the adoption of a basic MP3 software player is the utilization and proper handling of ID3 tags. These are pieces of information appended to the MP3 file, which provide information such as artist, title, genre, BPM, or other bits of interesting information about the track. Failure to handle ID3 tags properly is a great restriction. I would avoid any tool that did not fully utilize ID3 tags.

One place where I think most DJs make a mistake in utilizing software, is organizing their music in the same way they organize their CDs. By doing this, one loses a great deal of the power of computing, as it doesn’t make sense to create separate folders for every single CD or album in your library. Rather, I think it makes more sense to organize your music library files by things like genre and decade. After all, it will be rare that somebody will come up and ask you for a song from a specific album or CD. They will ask you things like: “Can you play some old school funk?” “Do you have any hip-hop?” “Do you have any good ‘60s music?” Most requesters will either identify a specific song (apart from the original album name) an artist or genre.

The bottom line is, the software you choose should give you great flexibility in organizing your library the way you wish, rather than constraining you to a specific organizational structure, which might impede your ability to think naturally, logically and creatively in locating desired songs.

For the rest of Dr. Drax’s extensive discussion of what to look for in DJ software, pick up a copy of the latest MB Gear Guide (December 2008, issue #118). Subscribers receive the yearly guide to products and services as free addition to their subscription.

Choosing a Mixer by Ben Stowe, CTS

When choosing a mixer for your system there are two critical factors you should consider. The first is the feature set. If it doesn’t do what it needs to, it isn’t a good fit. Likewise, if it is overloaded with unnecessary features, you have likely paid more and are carrying more than was prudent. The second factor is the quality of the board. The mixer may have the single greatest impact on the quality of your sound, and it has many moving parts that can become troublesome quickly if they are of poor quality.
There are a variety of distinctly different applications mixers are used in; live sound, broadcast, DJ, karaoke, recording and more. This article will briefly discuss live sound, karaoke and DJ applications. Even within those categories there are several distinct uses, a scratch DJ may have different needs than a wedding DJ. They may want kill switches, onboard effects and perhaps an optical crossfader to allow for rapid, fluid movement over many cycles.

DJ Mixer Essentials
Individual users will likely place different emphasis on different features, but the following are some important features that I feel are fairly universal for DJs and others: size and weight, input channels, balanced outputs, gain trim, and PFL level indicators. Size and weight really go without saying. We have to carry our gear from gig to gig. Input channels will dictate how much we can connect to the board. Some will need more channels than others, and of different types. Inputs can be mic, line, phono, S/PDIF (digital) and more. Balanced outputs are particularly important given the greater use of powered speakers. For sending the signal at line level over long distances, like those required to reach powered speakers, they have advantages. Lower current in the signal means lower loss, but longer distances carrying a low-level signal create more opportunities for interference and noise. A balanced connection helps preserve the quality of the signal.
Proper gain structure is fundamental for good sound. An input gain trim (not to be confused with the channel slider), paired with a PFL (Pre-Fader Listening) level indicator is extremely valuable in creating even input gains and avoiding distorted audio.

Sound Reinforcement Options
In live sound, there is a far greater range of options, but most units draw from the same roots. Top considerations are frame size, low cut, EQ strip, Aux outputs, phantom power, fader size, and mute groups. The frame size simply tells us how big the board is. Check how many mono channels (typically a mic or instrument input) and how many stereo inputs (typically for stereo devices, such as CD players) the board offers. Often a stereo channel is counted as two. I find this practice to be somewhat deceptive, but nearly every manufacturer does it. A 12-channel board may have 8 mono inputs and 2 stereo inputs.
A low cut is a button assigned to a frequency beneath which the sound is reduced or eliminated. For example, a 100Hz low cut will eliminate 100Hz and lower. This is very useful for vocal channels. It quickly eliminates handling noise and potential feedback for a frequency that will likely not be produced by the vocalist anyway. The EQ strip can offer a variety of features. For me it’s important to have sweepable mids. This means that I can not only determine the attenuation for that frequency, but also the frequency itself. My favorite consoles have two sweepable mids, a low-mid and a high-mid. This is very useful in fine-tuning an input right on my channel strip.
Auxiliary outputs are just that, additional outputs that can be individually mixed from the available channels for monitors, recording, and more. Having lots of auxes allows me to create lots of other mixes so that different performers can have different monitor mixes, all without affecting the main mix.
Phantom power is voltage that is transmitted through the microphone cable to a device connected to it. This allows those devices (condenser mics, direct insert boxes, etc.) to be powered by the console rather than a battery or external power supply. Small consoles typically have a global phantom power switch, meaning that every channel gets it or doesn’t. Larger and better consoles have groups of phantom power channels, or individually selectable phantom power channels. This allows us to send the power only down the channels we want to, and not the ones we don’t.
Fader size simply dictates how much real estate we have to move that fader up and down. The larger the fader, the more precise our adjustments can be. Sub-groups and mute groups are very useful in managing large mixes. They allow us to assign several channels to effects easily, or to make wholesale adjustments in a particular group of channels. Drums, for example, can be grouped, and once adjusted proportionately to themselves (snare, toms, kick, overheads, etc.), can then be raised and lowered all at once. Mute groups operate in much the same way. All vocal mics can be placed into a single mute group, for example, so that during a break all stage mics can be muted with a single button, rather than locating several buttons.

A Sound Decision
The common denominator between all these categories is quality. Your mixing board is one of the most crucial pieces of gear in the system. It is the part that you, the operator, interfaces with directly the most, and it is instrumental in the overall production of your show. A noisy board can compromise all great loudspeakers, amplifiers, media playback and microphones. One area that is very critical, particularly when working with vocals, is the mic preamp. This circuit takes the very low electrical signal produced by a microphone and preamplifies it before inserting it into the mix. It seems painfully self-explanatory, but bad preamps can lead to bad sounding vocals. Another critical area, particularly in live sound, is the EQ section of the channel strip. Many EQs can color the sound in unintended and undesirable ways, whereas some EQs have a particular sound that is sought after. You’ll often hear tour sound techs talk about the “British EQ,” for example. Lastly, and certainly not least, are the moving parts. These are the knobs, faders, sliders, buttons, etc. Poor quality here can lead to early failures, bad sound, and great frustrations.
At my gear supply company we offer consoles from less than $100 to greater than $400,000. I urge you to carefully weigh the features and pursue quality construction in your choice. Certainly we must be practical in what we spend, but the mixer is a poor place to be pennywise and pound-foolish.

The Call of the Wild by Merlin Zimmet

As DJs, throughout most of our careers we seldom stray from the usual settings: hotel ballrooms, banquet halls, gymnasiums, back yards, tents, and so on. Once in awhile, however, we may get a call to do something off the beaten path-way off.My “journey to adventure” began when a word-of-mouth referral came in one day that would prove to be somewhat “difficult.” The bride-to-be was in her early sixties and the groom of similar longevity. Nothing so unusual about that; it’s just proof that people can fall in love, regardless of time spent on the planet. But that’s pretty much where any normalcy associated with this pending event ended.

A pair of the bride’s close friends offered a location for the ceremony and reception. They just happened to own about 1,700 acres of remote, albeit breathtaking Western Colorado property known as the Ladder Canyon Ranch. That should be enough real estate to host a few thousand of your closest friends, I thought. “Off the grid” was not an accurate description of this location; the grid wasn’t even close. The final grade to the location was a six-mile uphill pull of dusty, one-lane gravel road. The wedding invitation read “4×4 not necessary but recommended…If you get stuck or lost, we’ll be back in the spring.”

I could see the real possibility of a recipe for disaster cooking up. Aside from the shear logistical problem, what if, heaven forbid, it should rain? Once the tenting companies we called found out about the location, they opted to rent all their equipment to other customers hosting events with better accessibility-for example, in the Amazon.

Nonetheless undaunted, the bride, groom, friends and I forged ahead with the planning of the details. Of course a “look see” was in order, just to get bearings and pick out a spot for the ceremony and subsequent party. Upon arrival, we found that the only 21st-century semi-permanent structure on the entire property was a yurt (see photo). Not nearly enough room for a group nearing 100. A yurt is a round tent, originally used by nomadic tribes of Asia. It’s a strong and relatively lightweight domicile, requiring only 30 or 40 yaks to move. The balance of the area’s topography was a combination of rolling high country beauty: pine trees, rock outcroppings, canyons, etc.-a great setting for a Hollywood Western…or a survival reality show.

The owners were the kind of folks who enjoy venturing up to their property and spending time just hanging out off the grid, away from the phone, communing with nature; and they were bound and determined to share their little slice of paradise and host this wedding. I warned them that we were dealing with the four P’s …People, Parking, Power, and Potties. But the plans continued to blossom. A date in September was selected, and we consulted with the Farmer’s Almanac to get an idea of what could be expected for weather. The almanac forecast was a little sketchy, only offering a “your guess is as good as ours”-type entry.

As the DJ/MC the only P that really concerned me was power. Between the hosts and myself, we owned four power generators of various capacities. We decided that we should have at least three at the event, since we were treading in unknown water with cooking, lighting and sound. (Reminds me of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms-which one doesn’t belong?” Between the three generators we selected, we had at our disposal just over 12,000 watts of power. Better too much, than not enough, as they say. We could have lit up a rodeo arena and simultaneously powered a Kid Rock concert.

Of course there was also the noise factor. In this pristine setting we didn’t want the guests to actually hear the big generators, so this required placing them (all but the little 2000-watt Honda that I used) over in Utah, and running heavy gauge extension cords up to their locations. (Note: Because of voltage drops on long runs, always use at least #12 gauge cords if you are running power over 100 feet) Let me tell ya, there is nothing that goes on in any aerobics class that quite matches the workout one can get traipsing around at an elevation of 7,500 ft, with coils of heavy duty power cords over your shoulders. If Michael Phelps did this on a regular basis, he might develop lungs that would allow him to swim from California to Hawaii, underwater.

I’ve always been impressed with the little Honda generators. I’ve used several over the years and they are quiet performers. For this event I dedicated a 2000-watt Honda for powering my sound and computer equipment. It worked flawlessly. I must say I was a little apprehensive about using a generator with my computer. I did opt to add a high-dollar surge protector to the mix, just in case. There was also concern about grounding the system and the potential 60-cycle hum problem. Some web research ensued on the subject, but there seemed to be no definitive conclusion amongst the experts. By NEC code, an 8′ long copper clad steel rod needs to be driven into the ground. I had no clue how to accomplish THAT, since they don’t call ‘em the ROCKY Mountains for nothing, and renting a pile driver was out of the question. I opted to eschew the grounding rod. There was no hum, and there were no hiccups.

For those of you who have ever tried to view a laptop screen in bright daylight, you will be able to relate to this next hurdle. Put simply, on a bright sunny day, you can’t see a damn thing. One must improvise. I chose to employ a technique used by the famous photographer Ansel Adams. Primitive but effective (see photo). The other option would be to hire an assistant to stand over you with an umbrella (ella ella), but that can get costly if you’ve got several hours of daylight.

The wedding was stellar and the weather cooperated completely. The reception on the rocks couldn’t have been better. The owners of the ranch worked like slaves to prepare the area and the food for the 100-plus intrepid guests who braved the trek. After the event, we (those involved in coordinating everything) got together, evaluated the event and gave ourselves conservative 9.5s and 9.8s for a job well done.

For my professional brothers and sisters in the mobile DJ entertainment business I offer the following. If someone calls and tells you about their plans to host an event in a remote location, take a quick mental inventory of your experience, and then be honest about your ability to actually pull it off. These are not easy gigs. You can always opt out by telling them you are booked for Papua, New Guinea on that date.

Remember, the true success of the party is on your shoulders-not those of the cake decorators or the caterers or any other vendor. There can be mediocre food and a melted wedding cake but you can still pull off a great event-anywhere-if you are prepared. Some things you can’t control, like the weather, but if you have a back-up plan for everything else, you can usually still be the hero.

Merlin Zimmet runs Zentco Productions out of Grand Junction, Colorado.

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